A Slice of my Personal Pan

How far should privacy go?

LOVE

I am happy now:)

Even though……………….

My common test start next week and I don’t know what is really going on in school..

My projects piled up high to the sky and I’m procrastinating like crazy….

My homework is screaming for attention.

My future is hanging because I still do not know what I want. I seriously do not want to regret my choice. A choice I have to make like SOON.:(

I need to pack up all my stuffs and leave the comfort of my big QUEEN size bed for a smaller bed when I come back to my house again.. (renovating my house)

I wont be at home when Christmas and New year comes… (renovation takes around 5-7 weeks)

My stupid driving test is coming soon. (1st Dec)

WHAT THE HECK. I AM HAPPY NOW. HECK IT ALL:D yay!

Twisted fairy tales

I want to do so many things. So many things with someone I love. It’s not as simple as I wished it would be. Just sweep me off and bring me away like how I wish… Yup. It’s me and my fairy tales. What do you know? It’s not just fairy tales we are dealing with… It’s a twisted fairy tale life we are stuck in.

Halloween last Saturday (31/10/09) was awesome! I can’t believe I have lost track of time. It’s already November?! Tell me to stop drifting… Wake me up! We all love to party eh? It’s the time of our lives. Maybe some has already past that stage and have moved on to thinking far and ahead… but I am still stuck in this. I just wanna be stuck in this.

Brendy asked me bout my future… I was kinda like… I don’t wanna think about that now. It’s still too far ahead for me. I am only 19! I think, at the back of my brain, I was thinking if I should think about it… Seriously, I kinda feel scared and a little sad when I think about it. I don’t know why…

Relationships… Some people have already thought and planned about being together forever… which is kind of like a good thing. Right? Lucky them. Good for you E-lis! HAHA. Brendy said to me that if after 5 years if you still have not think it through… then it would be pointless to continue. I was loss for words. Is it really that serious? Ha. But luckily she said after 5 years. I HAVE 2 MORE YEARS anyway:) Relationship matters are unpredictable. You can be all hugs and kisses for a min and the next thing you know, you both are faced with tension.

Know something? Throughout this 3 years, I have learn a lot. Some good some bad. Perhaps I have became a little more timid but I think I have learnt to accept more and ask for less. I feel I have learnt to prepare myself for anything worse unlike the naive me from the past. I have learnt to be more realistic because It’s the real and cruel world man. I have also learnt to set my priorities though sometimes, just sometimes… it would be nice if I could live in my own world.

Lazy

I shall bath and then START PACKING.. Laziness please wear off? Btw, Blair and Chuck is the ultimate couple! :):) Go GG3!

I took neoprints today! Yes I know. I’m like a tad too old for that but…. :):) It brings back fond memories. HA! :) Haven’t seen Ivy in a long while and she seems to be doing fine:) Good for you! We shall exercise together soon okay? Please pull me along!

Fel

OSAKAOSAKAOSAKA

Weee.. I’m happy. Excited but a little scared. OSAKA is inching so close now that it feels unbelievable. I’m going to Japan. Wait. I’M GOING TO JAPAN! Weeeeeeeee..

The kite

Never there. Never want to be there.

A kite flying higher and higher. How do you get it down? Pull and tug? Then it snaps? :(

You can only wait for it to stop and drop… Can I wait for it to stop and drop?

Look at your lovely colors matched against the wonderful backdrop of the sky. You look absolutely free and pretty up there. You blend in well with the sky.

Looking at you I stopped and think.

Should I stop my selfish means of wanting you for my own by getting you down? Tugging and pulling you, I guess you feel the pain. I feel the pain too.

When you were down to the ground, you were mine and I were yours. But that’s not for you. You had looked dead and lifeless without the flutter of your string. Suddenly, the gust of wind blew you up. Up up and away… Very far away. I was shocked and angry indeed. How could the wind just blew you there without giving me a warning!

As I looked up, I saw how happy and free you were for the first time. I guess you were never mine to start with. You should be happy where you want it but even so, I cannot just look up because I feel the pain.

I guess I have to move on and find something that would stay by me on my piece of land.

妳的愛情，我在對面

This story book, a gift from Sammy for my birthday:) I took a long time to read it but I finally finished it last week.

It’s a story about a girl and her love life. (typical but.. yeah.. haha) She was actually a total loser but her life changed as she went into a relationship with a nobody who shot to fame. She loves him and he loves her back but at the same time… she sub-consciously falls for a guy whom she always confides in.

In short and in a deeper meaning.. It was a choice between someone whom you loved and loved you but was always far far away from your reached and someone who was always there when you needed him.

Who would you choose?

There is this one section which was very heart-wrenching and made me thought a lot…

It was where the guy (referring to the one who is always by the girl’s side) talked about his actual girlfriend with the girl (cause they’re good friends). He super love his girlfriend but she always succumbed to external temptations and she breaks up with him a lot (broke his heart a lot too) but they would go back together because he could not give the relationship up.

男：我们已经分手好几次了！但是没有一次能真的很下心彻底分手，不再见彼此的面。

女：你真的爱她吗？

男：我真的很爱过她。

。。。虽然早就不相信她了，却又没办法狠下心的不理她，我的心差不多快被掏空了吧！

女：你想要怎么样才能真正死心呀？

男：除非是她找到一个爱他比爱我多的男人，或者我遇到一个比我爱她更多的女生。

橘子

Unless you find someone who loves you more than me, or I meet someone whom I love more…